He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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