I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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