I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
