Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
