You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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