My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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