This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
