Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The adults are the big ones right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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