i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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