I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
