Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize