My brain says no but my pants say off.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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