no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
