she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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