I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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