So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
