Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
