his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
