just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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