I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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