He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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