his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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