thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
