Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
