is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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