it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
