dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
