If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
