we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
