Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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