We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
