We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
