I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
