Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
