woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
