just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize