I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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