That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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