It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
