It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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