I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
