I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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