So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i have two assholes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
