I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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