You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
