She's JV to your varsity
I will die if light touches me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
