There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Semen is not good for contacts.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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