So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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