The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
