They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
