let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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