Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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