okay pat passed out under dana's car
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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