this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
