I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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