1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
