On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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