I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
