I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We are all done wearing pants today
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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