I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
