Me. At least after what I've been through.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
