Dual....:-)
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
