Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
