normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
