thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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