It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
