I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
