You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
