He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have tasted many bathrooms
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize