No, you can still breathe under the balls.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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