I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize