Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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