just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
