Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
