I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sober January is a disaster.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
