What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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