Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
